How to be Alliance

Spinks over at Spinksville posted a list titled “How to be Horde” in keeping with the Blog Azeroth shared topic.  I thought it only fitting to counter his list with mine.

1. Help Abercrombie get his wife Eliza back, only to realize you were vastly underpowered for what was about to come your way.
2. Kill Ragnaros or Onyxia with no Shamans in the raid.
3. Get killed by a Horde rogue while trying to access the flighmaster in Duskwood.
4. Fall off the Stonewrought Dam in Loch Modan on the Wetlands side.  Splat!
5. Fall onto the mesh covered lava in Ironforge.
6. Jump off the Great Lift in the Barrens after realizing you couldn’t take the guard out.
7. Visit every Alliance settlement; including the Stonetalon Peak.
8. Win any BG in a PUG that isn’t Alterac Valley. It’s possible, but not probable.
9. Get killed by a Mangy Wolf in Elwynn Forest.
10. Run your Night Elf from Auberdine to Menethil to Ironforge at level 10.
11. Get stared down by Lady Prestor (Onyxia in desguise) in the Stormwind Keep.
12. Defend Southshore from an attack.
13. Realize after you have done it once, that the Aldor tier in Shattrath is too high to jump from.
14. Eventhough you outnumber Horde 3:1 on the server, you still get ganked to tears in Stranglethorn Vale.
15. Do the VanCleef chain in Westfall.
16. Get the For the Alliance achievement by joining a raid to kill the Horde leaders.
17. See Wrathgate from the Alliance perspective and raid Undercity as a memorial to Fordragon.   Vengeance is ours!
18. Unleash Stitches in Duskwood and then get killed by him.
19. Escort a lot of Human Marshals to safety. It is just me or does there need to be a better training program for Stormwind soldiers?
20. Mock Night Elves dancing on the bridge in their underwear in Ironforge especially if they are male.
21. Hide your Gnome mage beneath a Tauren in a battleground without him/her seeing you.
22. Get your free fishing rod from the Alliance only quest in Auberdine.
23. Wonder why you can’t skin the Taurens that you kill.
24. Participate in a level one raid on Hogger and die less than 5 times.
25. If you’re a Gnome, being Alliance means knowing your home city will forever be a painfully long instance that no one will ever want to run.
26. Go back to Raven Hill and teach Mor’ladim that it’s not nice to gank level 17s from halfway across the zone (over and over again) when your13 levels higher and elite.
27. Try to invade Tarren Mill and see the massive numbers of deathguards that appear out of nowhere. That’ll teach us.
28. You know you’re Alliance when you realize it’s faster to swim from Feathermoon Stronghold to the mainland than it is to take the boat.
29. Check out the settlement at the Bulwark for the first time. Ya, those are horde.
30. Defeat the Horde quest-giver Blightcaller while fending off Horde toons.
31. See people cybering in the deeprun tram. (Spinks)
32. Fall off [Telredor] in Zangarmarsh. (Spinks)
33. Bitch about Staghelm (is he the most annoying NPC in the game? could be…) (Spinks)
34. Watch the Onyxia battle in the Stormwind Keep begin just as a 20-29 bracket Battlground is finished.

As with Spinks’ post, feel free to add your own suggestions and I’ll add them to the list.

~ by Robert Stewart on July 15, 2009.